The older I get, the more I realize change is hard work.

I’m going to learn to cook.
I want to read more books.
Give up TV.
I’m going to exercise more.
I’m going to wake up earlier.
Call a family member every day.

Resolutions come and go. But in order for you to make a change, you’ve got to work hard.

They say it takes 30-days to develop a new habit. And 30-days to break a habit.
So have you started yet? 30 days of dedication to do something. If you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way.

Commit and do it. I’m in.

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…yeah, you read that right. Let me share with you why.

It’s inevitable. Mondays come every week, no matter what happens over the weekend- it’s guaranteed to be staring you in the face 7 days from now. Here’s how I look at it:

A fresh start.

Mondays are a perfect chance to clear your mind and forget whatever happened last week that didn’t work. Tear-up and reset your to-do list. Get a fresh start with prioritizing what you really need to do. Don’t bring in the emotional or physical baggage you had last week into Monday. Forget it. Refocus.

No excuses.

There is no better day than Monday. If you truly want something bad enough (work or personal), it’s only you that can make it happen. Only you to blame. Only you to rely on. If you really want it badly, you’ll do something different and put it in your hands to make it happen.

Make it a priority.

I often get the question, “Where do you find the time?” The answer is: I make the time. I didn’t learn about things like video blogging, digital strategy, event planning, or photography in college. Or by taking instructional classes. I found the time by giving up a TV show here and there. Using days off like Memorial or President’s day to work on side projects. Skip the “big sports game” and take the time to experiment and learn. Use 1 day a week in the evening to focus on a project or furthering your education in a specific topic. Or steal 1 hour on the weekend to yourself or learn from other people smarter than you. It’s all about making time outside of your 9-5 job to do your homework.  Make it a priority- and piece it all together.

Don’t put it off.

Time is finite.

And life is too short.

If you don’t know where to start, it’s OK to stumble into the first step, you don’t always have to understand how it’s going to end or where it will go. I’ve observed from the most successful people I’ve met, they never over-think or over-analyze anything. They have a goal. They do everything they can now to get that much closer to achieving it. They also don’t stutter or pause on the path. They may shift- but they always continue.

I’ve always said the greatest possession you have is the 24-hours in front of you. Get inspired. Go do it now.
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Today was “bring your kids to work” day. And to be honest, I really wasn’t prepared for what to expect. I don’t have kids, but the moment they ran into the office (and do mean literally, they were running all over the office- which was actually quite fun to watch people react to it) I knew this day was going to be a little different than the rest.

I thought it was just us adults, that would be teaching the kids new things- but what actually happened was the kids today taught me something too. (stick with me here, I promise this blog post isn’t that cheesy, okay?)

Kids truly are a fascinating study.

Their youthful passion, energy, and bi-polar personalities are overflowing. It can be contagious …and exhausting. But the one thing that literally put a smile-on-my-face-so-big-it-hurt, was the positive and brightened spirits that everyone in the office experienced. You could walk desk to desk and see the subtle grins everyone had on their faces. You would look at each other, and without exchanging words, you knew already what the other was thinking in their head. Which was something like, “We’re supposed to act like they’re not here, but it’s hard not to ignore the kid spinning himself in the office chair behind you. Hilarious.”

Now I’m not saying we work in a boring office. Yes, we sit behind computers. And yes, we attend those same meetings you do in corporate-land. But for the most part, our culture is relaxed and fun. Yet, these kids today really reinvigorated everyones spirits.

But this is what hit me the hardest…

Throughout the day, kids would come into our section of the office and say hi. Or they’d shoot some hoops with the new mini-basketball goal we purchased (not kidding). And I observed a common thread when talking to them.

…their sense of wonder.

Everything (and i do mean everything) had their attention. Things that normally we pass off as just something you do or see everyday, they were fascinated with it. And when they would ask questions, they really wanted to know the answer. It was this sense of wonder that hit me the hardest, realizing it is “the thing” we all lose with age. Naturally, it makes sense that as we learn and experience life over time, the emotion of wonder is something we experience less frequently.

Observing the kids today (and hearing them literally scream periodically throughout the day) it’s obvious they all are fueled by this high-octane passion for life. And the world to them is amazing. They’re filled with wonder. And it’s this- almost palpable emotion- that stuffed the office today from wall to wall.

“Wonder” is something I personally believe can still exist within all of us …but it requires some work. It takes things like surrounding yourself with people are smarter than you. And people who motivate you (and supporting them in return). You must embrace what you’re passionate for in life. And being not only inspired, but inspired frequently. But it’s only *you* that can foster an environment around you that does all this. And there’s no better time to start than now. I personally have a fear for mediocrity, and you should too.
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While driving home from work, I listened to an interview on NPR with Michelle Hackman. She recently conducted a study of what happens to the human body when you separate teenagers from their cell phones (this won Intel’s Science Talent Search contest).

So what happens when you takeaway someone’s cell phone?
You would think people become anxious. Right? And, perhaps it also might give people the jitters (her initial theory). But actually, when using a biofeedback meter, she found something different…

“I found addictive tendencies in my subjects. They almost went through withdrawal symptoms. And the way that I like to explain that is that cell phones and other sorts of technology are very inherently stimulating. And so when you take them away, a kid becomes understimulated, and almost doesn’t know how to entertain himself.”

There is something we can learn from this.

Other than the painfully obvious truth, that this study explains why we are addicted to these shiny object devices (i’m guilty) …there is another learning here. If we are constantly stimulating ourselves with these bright, backlit screen phones, are we allowing ourselves to experience the real life moments in front of us? We should never let technology take over experiencing every real life moment.

Or worse yet, it’s likely we don’t realized that because smart phones are inherently stimulating, we are not letting our minds wander, with empty moments to organize our thoughts, our lives and enabling our brains to be creative. My best ideas have never come while sitting at a desk, or in a conference room. What about you? They certainly have not come when trying to quickly send a Tweet while waiting for the elevator.

Relax your mind and let your conscious be free.

(that’s a Warren G rap lyric, BTW) On a weekly basis, I force myself to have time in which I’m doing things that are unproductive and not filled with stimulation from TV, computers or other technology. I’m not talking about therapy sessions or anything. It’s things like running for me (when you mute the music). Or sitting in silence for the 5-minutes after I wake-up. And recently, I’ve found that after working out, the sauna for some reason has been my go-to-place for letting my mind wander, decompressing …and every time I go, I’m coming up with new ideas or getting clarity of things that have been on my mind.

You have to learn how to control the technology. Do not let the technology control you.

And make time to be unproductive. Even if it’s for 5-minutes here and there. No TV. Intentionally do nothing. Your mind will thank you for not forcing a screen in-front of your face, just to watch Modern Family or make your move on the Words With Friends App.
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As I’ve matured in my career, I’ve observed with the right type of people (+office culture) …you will actually play up to the level of who you surround yourself with. Work isn’t necessarily thought of as a competition per se, but when I say “playing up”, I mean producing quality output. And working hard.

“Playing to the level of your competition” is a phrase I first learned because my high school soccer coach used to yell at me about it. And much like my soccer team back in high school, it requires a team effort to step their game up. (And the “coach” still matters in the workplace. It always starts at the top.) That said, in the workplace- I’m seeing how when you surround yourself with others who are smarter than you …how it drives you to play up.

My point is, there is something to be said about the human interaction you have with others- when plugged into the right system + with the right people, it allows you to actualize your potential <– and that’s the best place to be. Right?
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I’ll confess.

I like to glance at Mark Zuckerberg‘s (i like to call him Zucky) own Facebook profile + wall every once and a while, just to see what has his attention (annnnnd it’s not always thrilling, recently he “Liked” miniature pencil art <– but who can blame him, it’s pretty damn cool).

But it got me to thinking, if I sent him a message- what would I say? His platform decisions are affecting the world. Arguably reaching more people on a daily basis than even the President (in a much different way of course).

So.

What would you say?
What would you tell him?

There is an on-going debate, I have about Thank You cards, with one of my friends Jeff.

He thinks that the best way to say “Thank You”, is to send them a hand-written card. 100% of the time.

My take is that the message that someone writes or sends to me is all that matters. It’s all about what they say. Not how they sent it. I could care less if they email it, Tweet it, post it on Facebook, or carve it in stone …it’s the sentiment in the message that they’re writing. I’ll be able to tell if what they’re writing is just fluff or obligatory words vs. sharing true, genuine and thoughts.

So who is right?

I’ll add, that I’m not opposed to sending Thank You cards. I still send them. But again, it’s the message that matters most. I make a conscious choice on how to send it based on the person I’m sending it too.

[Bonus Thoughts] As social media technologies continue to be used more and more for communication and interactions, does the medium or platform matter as much? How much of a role does the way it’s delivered matter anymore? Or has the bar been raised for all of use to be better writers with the words we use, because the proliferation of new channels?

What do you think? Who is right?
The comments are yours…
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We are in the process of hiring at Digital Evolution Group, so I’ve been sitting in a lot of job interviews. I’ve been listening to people share their stories about their job history and what they do and don’t like about their current position. Now, I won’t attempt to claim I’ve performed hours of research or have extensive experience in analyzing people and their careers (cause i haven’t) …but through some of my own (late night) self-assessments …i’ve reached my own conclusion about people and their jobs, which can be summed up as the “2-of-3 rule”.

My theory behind the “2-of-3 rule” is simple…

As long as a person is happy with 2 of the 3 criteria (listed below), …they will be comfortable and satisfied with their job. However, if things change, in which only 1 of 3 things are being met from these criteria, then a person will leave their job or have extreme dissatisfaction with their career (and over time, eventually will leave).

Here are the 3 criteria for my “2-of-3 rule”:

#1.) Money you earn.
Are you getting paid enough? Every one has an opinion on this. You might be getting paid well, or you might not. Again, this is only 1 of the factors in the 3 part equation.

#2.) People you work with.
Do you enjoy who you work with? Do you really value the people you have to interact with every day (this includes your clients or customers).

#3.) The work you are doing.
Is the work you do each day something that you truly love? Are you a 5PM clock-watcher because you can’t stand what it is you do for work?

Given those 3 criteria, you can test it with different scenarios. I’m willing to bet that if you are satisfied with 2-of-3 of the criteria, you’ll stick with your job (and if you are happy with all 3, then you’re in a great place). Only when you get knocked down to 1-of-3 will you jump ship.

Some examples with the rule applied:

• You might not be making much money, but if you really love your job and the people you’re working with…
• If you making a ton of money and love the work you’re doing, it can be just enough to avoid and deal with the annoying people you work with…

Try it yourself.

See?

I can’t explain why my “2-of-3 rule” works (i think it applies to everyone). It forces you to break-down the root elements of how satisfied you are with your job.

I could be wrong. Am I? What say you?
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I noticed while flying on Frontier Airlines to Boston, every time our airline hostess spoke on the intercom, she would announce and preface everything with, “I’ve got great news” or she would say things like “Guess what, I have something fantastic to tell you”. What she was announcing was standard, the basic safety prompts that are required, like “We are about to take-off so turn off your cellphone” or things like “We are serving drinks now.” But it was amazing to me, just observing the power when she used a simple, positive phrase first …how much of a difference it made. It got my attention.

So it got me to thinking.

I sit in a lot of meetings and situations that required me to present ideas or plans. Within the past year, I made a deliberate effort to remove from my vocabulary and phrases of uncertainty like “I’m not sure if you’ll think this is a good idea…” or “you might not like this idea but…”

…there’s something to be said about giving yourself a chance, by first giving yourself a chance.

Take those same phrases and replace them with ones like, “I have this great idea to tell you” or “I have this great story to tell you.” Or more subtle, “I have something you should consider.”

…see the difference?

Give yourself a chance. Don’t sell yourself short. If you’re leading the conversation with uncertainty, you may think you’re coming across as being humble, but you’re more than likely doing yourself a disservice. Speak with confidence when you are telling a story or presenting an idea. If the way you present your thoughts are uncertain, why should anyone rally behind your idea? In short speak with conviction and enthusiasm, it makes all the difference.

(btw, i couldn’t stop laughing at the Jack Donaghy photo when I found it- i felt it was appropriate for the blog post)
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If you do not have to work today, you should consider using your free time to do your “homework”. Yes, you should take a few moment to remember and read-up on significance of what MLK did for the world. But, after you’re done with that, instead of watching a movie or TV- take time to work on YOU. Plan, study, learn, and DO whatever it is that gets you closer to achieving your goals or projects. The smartest people I know, taught me that it’s the time when no one is working …that you should be working hard to get ahead. It takes sacrifice, but it’s worth the effort.

By the time you read this, it’s likely you’re already off the couch, back to work and in the mix of your daily routine. And let’s be real- you probably haven’t written anything down. Amiright? Perhaps this will give you a little nudge on the shoulder and provide practical advice about New Year’s resolutions. And rather than assume I have all the answers, I’ve compiled advice from smarter people than me, who I think have the right lens in “how to” get you started.

No excuses.
Amber explains a simple truth about resolutions, “I can do this, today and every day, if I want it badly enough …change is in your hands, and if you want to do something differently, you can. No one is going to do it for you.” >> more here

The right way to write goals.
Chris provides some great advice about how to write down your goals. He advises that they should be SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely). Without following this structure, you don’t have a way to reflect if you “did” or “did not” achieve your goals.

Throw away your TV.
Gary Vee tells us that we need to “stop watching LOST” (or more appropriately for this time of year, NFL football or The Bachelor). Why give it up? Use your free time to do your homework. Give up 1 or 2 things each week, or each day (e.g. a TV show) and use that time to plan, study, and just plain DO whatever it is that gets you closer to your goals.

New Year’s “fresh start” is rubbish.
…it’s true (this is my advice). It should not take an event that only happens 1-time a year to make a change to better your life. Aristotle once said, “We are what we frequently do”. If 3 months from now, you’ve realized priorities have shifted, switch-up your routines and systems. Don’t get caught in a rut.

Don’t put it off.

Time is finite.

And life is too short.

If you don’t know where to start, it’s OK to stumble into the first step, you don’t always have to understand how it’s going end or where it will go. Often, I’ve observed from the most successful people I’ve met, they never over-think or over-analyze anything. They have a goal. They do everything they can now to get that much closer to achieving it. They also don’t stutter or pause on the path. They may shift, but they always continue.

I’ve always said the greatest possession you have is the 24-hours in front of you. And there are 361 more “fresh starts” you have in front of you now.  Get inspired.  Go do it now.
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I was drafting an email tonight that required me to dig up my goals I wrote for the year 2010. I scanned my list of 10 things and disapprovingly gave myself a B-. I can do better. Then, I started thinking about all of the people I know that are successful. How the hell are they doing it? (and i’m not just talking about business success, people who have great families and are just living happy, fulfilling lives)

I then remembered a quote I once read at Starbucks while waiting for my coffee… (i know, it’s pathetic that I found this quote @Starbucks, but it’s still a great quote)

I’m intrigued by successful individuals who are affecting greater change in the world. A common thread I’ve observed with these types of people, is they’ve always persevered through the odds, critics, their own failures and difficult circumstances. “Success” didn’t come on their first try. Or their second. Most importantly, their passion in life is so great- it drives them to have a seemingly unreachable goals or a dreams that challenge the status quo. They’ve followed their heart and intuition.

Dream and dream big.

We’ve all heard that phrase before. If you don’t- you’re going through life operating with nothing to reach for. Everyone has dreams, no matter how old you are.

You need patience and passion. Have the patience to piece together “the ladder” in what it takes to get you there. Find the passion to follow through with doing what it takes to accomplish that dream.

That is my 2 cents. Who’s with me?

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I often think the iPod, iPhone, Android, [insert another bad-ass gadget here], as cool, useful and shiny awesome as they are …when you don’t know how to integrate them into your daily life correctly, they can actually hinder the ability to understand how to communicate.

Some people don’t know how to start meaningful conversations anymore because they hide in their gadgets in public social situations.

Put down your phone.

Look up. Look around you.
Say hi to someone and smile.
Start a conversation with a stranger.
Experience the moment in front of you, don’t take a picture with the camera on your phone.

Don’t let the technology control you.

Do you get my point?

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You have done it. You ask this question too. You are guilty as I am. I hate it.

“What do you do for a living?”

This is the question everyone asks, to strike up conversation. And whether you like to admit it or not, when you ask this question, you then make judgements from the answer they respond with. Unfair assumptions on their wealth, personality, experiences and values.

That sucks.

Why do we make these judgments from 1 answer about their job?

I recently was on a plane in this very situation. I asked the question to the person sitting next to me, “What do you do?” He told me he sold industrial equipment. However, when I asked him what he did, I noticed he struggled with his response. He shifted in his seat and sighed. I then asked him, “What do you really want to do for work?” He paused, and I nervously waited for him to respond, not knowing if I may have offended him. It turns out he would rather own his own business and open a restaurant. After talking to him longer, I realized he was actually a really interesting person with a lot of passion for things that had nothing to do with his job. I was almost embarrassed for asking about it first.

So perhaps the lesson here is leading with the question “What do you do?” isn’t always the best policy. I hate that we do this. Too much judgement is inadvertently placed all on this 1 question. It’s the wrong way to start a conversation. And there’s always awkward moments and pauses after you ask the question.

There are easier ways to start conversation with people you meet. Like, asking where someone is from, or what the best AND worst part of their week has been (not how are you doing …that’s too generic, you won’t get an honest answer from most people). What has your attention right now? Perhaps I should just ask, what are you passionate about in life? It would certainly make you think of a good answer. You’d jump into a real conversation and perhaps avoid the surface chit-chat crap.

I’m going to challenge myself to avoid asking the job question from now on. Perhaps I’ll enforce a “break glass for an emergency” rule in using it. I just don’t see the benefit in leading with it. Even if you’re only interested in networking, most sales professionals tell you to establish the relationship first, then sell.

What do you think?
Do you agree? Do you struggle with this too?

Do you see my point?
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I was reading a blog yesterday and a great quote jumped out at me:

“Getting old only sucks if you let it suck.”
@Jason

Well said Jason.

Every year that you get a little older, I’ve noticed people just complain and blame whatever it is they’re not doing or wish they were doing …all because of their age. You can see it in their eyes, they seem jaded from experiences and old age. Yet in retrospect, I’ve met several people in life that have proved age does not matter. They seem younger than ever, extremely motivated for life and out taking on the world.

Which leads me to believe…

Age is nothing but a number. The people who play the complain and blame game of not being able to do something because “their time has passed” is rubbish. There’s no better time than right now.

Take for example something that happened to me this year. I made a pact with my closest friends to go sky diving. I jumped (and survived). After my jump I threw a high-five to the next guy who was jumping after me. Guess how old he was? He had just turned 80-years old (it was his birthday). His family was there, talking about how excited and alive more than ever he was …even at age 80.

A couple years ago, a friend shared with me this quote…

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
- Mark Twain

Everyone has dreams, no matter the stage in life you are in (young and old). So I say, dream and dream big. Do you have your inspiration? Are you acting upon these and moving forward?

I’m excited to be here. You should be too. Now you get out there. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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